I am sure most celebrations in New York, related to the decision of Governor Cuomo on same-sex marriage, are moved by good faith and by a genuine desire of freedom.
I am also sure that gays and lesbians have been and are objects of terrible discriminations, connected with ill frustrations and violence.
Moreover, I am sure of a third thing. The reasons why this blog has not many readers (apart from its debatable quality, of course) has a lot to do with what I would like to say on same sex marriage: it has poor marketing. On the other hand, this is a space that I could leave tomorrow, and that is just a sign of my current thoughts on some issues.
Well, I think that celebrating too much same-sex marriage could imply the risk to forget its dark side (everything has got one).
Starting from the rights of individuals, and even considering that every union is founded on the will of two people, I do not see a serious reason why equality between single persons (hetero and gays) should lead to an equal valuation of their "families" or unions. This is a world where Catholics, e.g., are asked to leave their belief in a private sphere, because every other exhibition of their values would be a form of ingerence in society. Then, I do not see why love or every kind of affection between two people should have a public, formal approval (marriage) to have the same dignity of other unions. Is really love reduced by not being disclosed to the whole world?
This leads to my second thought on same-sex marriage. I think that concentrating just on "marriage as a right" could hide a risky conception of freedom, reducing it to the "freedom to follow the herd". Is really free and source of freedom the desire to encapsulate one's feelings in an exterior, particular shape as marriage? I think that the decision of Governor Cuomo did not have any influence on the equal dignity of gays and lesbians, which is the same also in States and countries where same-sex marriage does not exist. Or do we want to say that same-sex unions which do not lead to a marriage have less value than the others? I do not think that the freedom of gays and lesbians should consist in following the same, often empty and insincere rituals between a man and a woman.
The third aspect relates more to the other side of freedom: responsibilities. Of course, there is a huge amount of supposed "normal" families which are full of violence against children and between parents. But, keeping away any reference to religion, it would be difficult to say that a "same-sex marriage" is fully open to the natural condition of becoming a parent and to the responsibilities that it implies. This is quite relevant for a society in which a lot of resources are invested in education of children.
Last but not least, I think that the same dignity of gay, lesbian and heterosexual individuals should made us look for a unique form of "freedom", which is really far from us. Even if the whole world thought that same-sex marriage is a right, how would be managed the difference between rich, gay or lesbian people on one side, and poor, gay or lesbian individuals on the other? The different possibilities of individuals have a lot to do with the material, materialistic dimension we live in, more than with the particular form of our sexuality and I do not think that someone may be a free gay or a free lesbian, until he or she is not a free human being. Well, how can we be really free when huge inequalities are in our societies, when workers are mainly "human resources", when helping the poor is just a "social activity" and when the greatest/untouchable right is the right to consume? If same-sex marriage is mainly a way to let firms sell their products to two men or two women, increasing their profits, or to let parties choose their leaders, preferring "married people" to the singles, then it's not a matter of right or wrong, of "true" marriage or something different: it risks to be just the usual, banal stuff.